Over the past few years, I've been reaching out and trying to make amends for some of the more egregious wrongs that I inflicted on others in the past. These are things I didn't want to leave unattended, if at all possible, before facing the Ultimate Judge.

For example, there was a young woman whom I met not long after I arrived in Kansas City in 1969. Nice girl; school teacher, I think; KU grad. We had a few dates, and, suffice it to say, she was more interested in me than I was in her. I treated her shabbily, probably led her on a bit. Eventually, she met a guy, fell in love with and married him, and they had children.

As the years passed, however, I felt lingering guilt about the way I had treated her. A few years ago, as fate would have it, I met a woman who recognized my name..."You dated Nancy (blank) a long time ago, didn't you?" she asked. "Yes," I said, and she proceeded to tell me she had been one of Nancy's best friends. I was elated to have made a connection after all those years. The woman gave me Nancy's married last name and her husband's first name. A day or two later, I found their phone number, called and left a message.

Several days later, Nancy called back. She said she had been on vacation when I called. Her voice was slightly tremulous: For all she knew, I might have been calling to try to hit on her again. I proceeded quickly to tell her why I was calling - to apologize for the lousy way I had treated her so many years earlier. She accepted my apology. We chatted for a few minutes about our respective spouses, children and lives and signed off.

I felt better after that, at least about that one wrong. But there are others that I can't apologize for, either because the injured parties are dead or long ago receded into the sea of humanity.

Dear Lord, as we go about our daily lives, help us to keep in mind, always, that our words and actions can hurt others and undercut ourselves. Help us to be kind and gentle, as you were. And please forgive us for the times our words have sliced like knives and our actions have kicked like boots. Let all of us learn from our transgressions. Amen.

(Jim and his wife Patty have been members of Saint Andrew for five years. They live in KCMO with their 23-year-old daughter Brooks and 22-year-old son Charlie. Jim has been involved in covenant group leadership for four years. He was a group leader for two years and now is starting his third year as covenant group coordinator.)